Anne-Marie Evans

We're not big and we're not small because who we are can't be measured or compared, not with anyone or anything or any other life out there. We don't have edges, we're not a cliff off a canyon. We don't have sides, we're not a box. We don't have walls. And anyone who tries to climb over yours has surely lost their way because there is no wall to climb. There is just... you. Sad you. Happy you. Hurt you. Brave you. Honest you. Broken you. Angry you. Lonely you. Enthralled you. Fantastic... you. You're not an object, and though you may feel objectified and on edge, boxed into a life you didn't want, you're actually a platform. You were built by the mercy of your own will to carry on, to keep dancing - to keep smiling because darling, this is theatre!!! And all life is a stage and you're on it. You decide if the show must go on. And the show must go on. We don't choose this life, you see. It chooses us like a stylist chooses our dress, o...

Letting go... It's not just something we do with our stuff, it's a way of life. It's a balancing act. Oh but it's not act. It's a choice. A daily one.  I coach people through the process of "purging". I've been told that just my presence alone has helped these individuals finally make a choice. Keep. Don't Keep. Shred. Donate. TRASH. And oh how liberating the trash CAN, can be. Even the word encompasses self empowerment.  You  can throw out what isn't working for you anymore. The thing is, we don't think we can and understanding this folly is the our first step toward change. Changing our minds, to be more exacting. Our mind is the problem. Did you know that? Well, it is.  One of my favorite quotes is; "If you think you can, you can." ~Meryl Streep.  It worked for her didn't it? She must have thought eons ago; I can be an actress. I can be a very successful one too!  And viola! Oh but it's not that easy.  Meryl Streep was...

C o l o r . There's a freedom about it.  " Room color psychology is an integral part of your daily life, affecting your moods and energy levels with just the room color you choose for your walls. The colors of the rooms in your home also serve as a direct reflection of your personality. The people who live in a home make it beautiful by choosing colors that reflect their preferences and personalities. Color has the power to change the shape and size of furnishings, as well as the shape and size of the room itself." By Lena Borrelli And color isn't just something we add to our home, it's an  essential  element that we add to our life once we break the barriers of everything being black and white . We all possess within ourselves our special vibrance and the more we discover our own gifts and survival skills, the more colorful we become. I'm using color as a code word for free. Freedom. Notice when you paint a wall or a canvas or a piece of furniture, there...

Them: Don’t burn bridges.   Me: I’ll blow a muthafuckin bridge up. And the flames will light the way... I deal with more let downs than I can count on one hundred and fifty hands. Lifetimes of let downs - as a creative, as a dreamer. As person. And yes, I’ve become more and more vocal because of it. And that’s pretty damn vocal considering I was born vocal. But, because I was silenced as a child (told to “shut the fuck up” every time I used my voice to speak my mind) my voice as a woman, is well, really loud. This doesn’t mean I’m screaming at everyone. It just means I’m not afraid to be myself and speak my mind. I’ll say the things most people will only think to themselves and I have no shame. For anyone who thinks I’m inferior to them be it personal or in my career fields (also personal), my torch is lit. I am important. I am inferior to no one. And neither are you. And yes, this spawns from a recent let down.  Though, the smoke has cleared. 💅🏽 And the funny thing is...

I just realized I've been away for over a year, and for nearly a year I've been back in Los Angeles...living and working harder than I've ever worked in my wildest days. I wrote a tv show about my life ... and some big things are happening right now.  I just wanted to share something very personal... about myself. Per usual, but this time I'm taking you and myself back to where it all began - to the day I died so that the hero in me...  could be conceived .  I went to 17 schools as a kid, and that’s not counting community college. I failed the first grade because I was unable to focus past the gnarly curveballs that life had already started throwing at me. I sat alone at the lunch table in 5th grade every single day while resisting a strong urge to cry just long enough to get home, where I could sob in the privacy of my own bedroom, where I spent most of my time writing to escape the loneliness that was my actual life. In 9th grade, I sat outside with a p...

This is a meme I came across recently, which for a brief moment flung me into a state of total euphoric peace, which feels a lot like... nothing actually, even after being "flung", and I have to be flung into peace. No joke. Could partially be the Gemini in me, but I need more than a gentle push or a light shove, or a mediation video, or a great chill your tits book or a meme. I need fulfillment. Peace is the end goal and as screwy as that might sound (in my own head) it sounds more honest than claiming it to be any other way - to be content, settled. I'm not. I never have been. I wouldn't be an artist if I was. But, I feel like we're taught or we're wired to think we have to be all these things and we have to do it with a sense of urgency and obligation. On the daily too, especially when things get hard. Calm down. Someone says to me. Relax. No. I'd rather write. Or paint... create something, anything. Art needs chaos, not a nap. Not contentment. I w...

I just realized I've been away for several months. I'm producing a short film here in Denver, so I've been a bit distracted but in the most wonderful way. But, today I felt the urge to hop on here and say something. I vicariously live through a character in a series I'm writing right now. Her name is Jade and she's me. She's who I used to be and who I want to be. The only difference, she's won an Academy Award and I have not. So, you can only imagine how much I admire Jade. ;) Any who. A lot of thoughts and chatter stir my mental soup these days, especially as a screenwriter. Everything I hear, everything I say... it can all be used differently. I can use it as great dialogue.  Fearlessly . The conversations I have with myself and with other people are what inspire me the most and this is the beauty of character writing. It's truly a wonderful exercise for releasing -  to vent through someone else, someone you invented, someone you didn't invent ra...

Change is real but it doesn't have to mean you change who you are. It means you change.. the way you are . And the way you are is the way you've become . What's the difference? There's a big difference. Who you are is who you were born to be. It's your animus - your dispositions and intentions. It's your spirit-self. The one that says:  hey, be an artist! Or hey, go save lives in the Middle East!   Or hey go do some scary shit that will make your journey so breath taking you won't know where you began. And all that changes with time because change is real and being a glorified soul whether you paint or save lives can be a real struggle, and a lot of people don't survive the fray of being duty bound in constant creation mode. Because to be a prodigy is to be a survivor of your own fear and doubts and those inflicted. Ergo, we adjust our perspectives thus changing our dispositions and intentions - our views. I don't want to save the world, we...

I called you a monster this morning and I meant it. So go home monster because you're in my head. You're in my words. You're in my prayers. My pillow turns to stone when you don't leave me alone. Today I felt like something divine joined me in my office as I gave myself some down time to reflect. I was looking at the walls pretending the walls were listening. Maybe they do, listen. If only the walls could talk. The decorative fixtures made my eyes move waywardly. The knick knacks, the green and yellow galore. It makes me smile. Then... a transcendent moment of observing with my eyes closed took presence as though it was standing between me and those decorative walls. It felt like an angel blew her breath across my arms. Goosebumps, but for just a brief moment. Then my head spins and the spinning is loud like a rusty old marry-go-round on a grassy dune, but the grass needs watering. She spins with the wind, not with a child because she's old and won't be both...

If you could go back in time, however long ago - maybe you want to be three again and debt free, mom and dad still together, or maybe you want to be twenty four again so you can dodge that awful romance, the one that stole your faith in love, would you? Would you change everything if you could? Maybe just one thing. Maybe you wished you could go back fifteen years ago just so you could stop yourself from making that decision that flipped your life upside down - turned you inside out with your heart bleeding all over your shirt. Or maybe it was a decision that birthed the boredom that is... your life. Life can be quite boring - adventure less, mundane. And we only have ourselves to blame. That doesn't make you a victim though. It just makes you aware. Your life is your creation. That doesn't void God. I believe God is extremely real, but you are the reason for your cans and cants, your yes's and no's. God is the outcome. You can react however you chose to the God-outco...

Bring happy back. Don't worry about sexy because  happy is sexy.  And though it may feel fleeting at times, and ephemeral, and/or displaced or even gone, happiness is always here and it's always yours to keep, or better yet...  manage . If you can't manage your happiness, what can you do? Nobody can take it away from you. So, even if you think it's gone, it's not. Happiness doesn't get stolen from us because you can always BRING IT BACK. It doesn't just "run along" and it doesn't just "let go" or back out the way we do when we're... not happy. Happiness doesn't put in a 30 day notice because happiness doesn't leave! It doesn't move out. It moves within. Ergo, it's not a  feeling  because feelings are unreliable and they come and go. There's no tricks up it's sleeve. There aren't even twelve steps. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Happiness is a mind set. So, what's your min...

“Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up”  ~Veronica Roth,  Divergent It wakes me up everyday. And it's not something that comes natural to us. I thought it was. You probably thought it was, or still do think it does, but it doesn't. Fear is not natural. It may be super easy to not trust someone, or, anyone in that matter (if we're real jacked up) because we're afraid they'll hurt us or betray us or dick us over in some fashion. It may even be the plight for most in the world cause it is in fact scary out there. A lot of people have lost their minds. It's easy to be scared but it's also just as easy to store some faith in humanity too, and in ourselves. We just have to remember what it is we unlearn everyday. We have to make a u-turn. We have to go back to love... and that's the hard part. The easy part is NOT turning around and going back. It's not being brave and taking those big risks that could change our life for the b...

We often have to find love in our own little world to find any love at all. And that love is sacred. The world is in so much pain. Terror of all sorts is sweeping the Earth with it's broom from hell and I'm left to ask myself: is this hell ? I don't know what I believe when it comes to the after life. If I die and go to Heaven then that would explain a lot, because this to me, feels a lot like the underworld. Call me crazy but I think it could be possible, and maybe if we were having this conversation in person, you'd look at me the way you'd look at someone who is very strange, or possibly invading your space because they're standing too close to you at the check out counter in the grocery store. I've seen it with my own two eyes. I've seen people stand too close to me and I've seen them crinkle their forehead at the thought that this might in fact, be  hell.  "No way Jose. I don't agree." - someone listening to me talk, or rea...

I've been away. And now I warmly welcome myself back to my beloved blog. I could never abandon you. This is where I run not to hide, but to reveal myself... to myself. Sometimes I forget who I am. I'm so many things, and yet sometimes I feel like nothing at all. This isn't a sob story either. I actually think to feel "like nothing at all" is liberating, it's relaxing because I try, you try, we all try so hard to be something every day all day. Well most of us do. I see people who don't try at all, but that's another story and they're drunk and sleeping on a sidewalk. We try and try and try until we just say: Fuck it!!  I am who I am! Whoever that is. I'll try to be somebody better tomorrow. I'll try to make more money tomorrow. I'll try to be heard tomorrow! As for now, I'm not doing anything. I'm turning on Netflix. Shut up world! I'm gonna be a couch potato. Or just a potato. Or a strawberry for God's sake! I don...

Harper Lee, the celebrated author who wrote To Kill A Mockingbird has passed away, as I'm sure you've heard. A gifted and famed writer she was. A glorified one who's book we all were forced to read in high school. And it was a great book! A vintage, old saw that gave Harper Lee illustrious notoriety.  But why not more? Why are we only left with one, no...two books by this praised author. WHY?!? And her second book was actually her first book entitled; 'Go Set A Watchmen', which is considered to be the 'To Kill A Mockingbird' first draft, which wasn't released until 2015. So, why not another book, or twenty more books by Harper Lee? Well, Harper Lee said it herself. When asked how she felt about possibly writing another book after obtaining such success with her first, she replied, "I'm scared... Because when you're at the top, there's only one way to go." I have yet to reach the top, thus I have a constant tendency to write...

Happy New Year!  I'd like to share with you my Director/Actor/Editor Reel These are films written, produced and directed by me. I'm also an actor and there is so much more to come! I'm currently working on my next film. So, please stay tuned. It's a new year. Happy 2016! This is another new opportunity and another new beginning for me and for you, so make it matter and make it count! Because your dreams are never too big if you're willing to endure the struggle they come with. Your dreams are also never too small if they make your heart sing and your mind break fee from the shackles of fear . I'm scared to death of failure, but that doesn't stop me from failing and it sure as hell won't stop me from succeeding. I'll fail and fail and fail if that means I'm getting closer to triumph. All it takes is time... and a lot of courage. Thick skin helps too, and prayer/meditation. And love and support, of course. So, dream, dream and dre...