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Showing posts from 2016


If you could go back in time, however long ago - maybe you want to be three again and debt free, mom and dad still together, or maybe you want to be twenty four again so you can dodge that awful romance, the one that stole your faith in love, would you? Would you change everything if you could? Maybe just one thing. Maybe you wished you could go back fifteen years ago just so you could stop yourself from making that decision that flipped your life upside down - turned you inside out with your heart bleeding all over your shirt. Or maybe it was a decision that birthed the boredom that is... your life. Life can be quite boring - adventure less, mundane. And we only have ourselves to blame. That doesn't make you a victim though. It just makes you aware. Your life is your creation. That doesn't void God. I believe God is extremely real, but you are the reason for your cans and cants, your yes's and no's. God is the outcome. You can react however you chose to the God-outco


Bring happy back. Don't worry about sexy because  happy is sexy.  And though it may feel fleeting at times, and ephemeral, and/or displaced or even gone, happiness is always here and it's always yours to keep, or better yet...  manage . If you can't manage your happiness, what can you do? Nobody can take it away from you. So, even if you think it's gone, it's not. Happiness doesn't get stolen from us because you can always BRING IT BACK. It doesn't just "run along" and it doesn't just "let go" or back out the way we do when we're... not happy. Happiness doesn't put in a 30 day notice because happiness doesn't leave! It doesn't move out. It moves within. Ergo, it's not a  feeling  because feelings are unreliable and they come and go. There's no tricks up it's sleeve. There aren't even twelve steps. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Happiness is a mind set. So, what's your min


“Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up”  ~Veronica Roth,  Divergent It wakes me up everyday. And it's not something that comes natural to us. I thought it was. You probably thought it was, or still do think it does, but it doesn't. Fear is not natural. It may be super easy to not trust someone, or, anyone in that matter (if we're real jacked up) because we're afraid they'll hurt us or betray us or dick us over in some fashion. It may even be the plight for most in the world cause it is in fact scary out there. A lot of people have lost their minds. It's easy to be scared but it's also just as easy to store some faith in humanity too, and in ourselves. We just have to remember what it is we unlearn everyday. We have to make a u-turn. We have to go back to love... and that's the hard part. The easy part is NOT turning around and going back. It's not being brave and taking those big risks that could change our life for the b


We often have to find love in our own little world to find any love at all. And that love is sacred. The world is in so much pain. Terror of all sorts is sweeping the Earth with it's broom from hell and I'm left to ask myself: is this hell ? I don't know what I believe when it comes to the after life. If I die and go to Heaven then that would explain a lot, because this to me, feels a lot like the underworld. Call me crazy but I think it could be possible, and maybe if we were having this conversation in person, you'd look at me the way you'd look at someone who is very strange, or possibly invading your space because they're standing too close to you at the check out counter in the grocery store. I've seen it with my own two eyes. I've seen people stand too close to me and I've seen them crinkle their forehead at the thought that this might in fact, be  hell.  "No way Jose. I don't agree." - someone listening to me talk, or rea


I've been away. And now I warmly welcome myself back to my beloved blog. I could never abandon you. This is where I run not to hide, but to reveal myself... to myself. Sometimes I forget who I am. I'm so many things, and yet sometimes I feel like nothing at all. This isn't a sob story either. I actually think to feel "like nothing at all" is liberating, it's relaxing because I try, you try, we all try so hard to be something every day all day. Well most of us do. I see people who don't try at all, but that's another story and they're drunk and sleeping on a sidewalk. We try and try and try until we just say: Fuck it!!  I am who I am! Whoever that is. I'll try to be somebody better tomorrow. I'll try to make more money tomorrow. I'll try to be heard tomorrow! As for now, I'm not doing anything. I'm turning on Netflix. Shut up world! I'm gonna be a couch potato. Or just a potato. Or a strawberry for God's sake! I don&

mad genius

Harper Lee, the celebrated author who wrote To Kill A Mockingbird has passed away, as I'm sure you've heard. A gifted and famed writer she was. A glorified one who's book we all were forced to read in high school. And it was a great book! A vintage, old saw that gave Harper Lee illustrious notoriety.  But why not more? Why are we only left with one, no...two books by this praised author. WHY?!? And her second book was actually her first book entitled; 'Go Set A Watchmen', which is considered to be the 'To Kill A Mockingbird' first draft, which wasn't released until 2015. So, why not another book, or twenty more books by Harper Lee? Well, Harper Lee said it herself. When asked how she felt about possibly writing another book after obtaining such success with her first, she replied, "I'm scared... Because when you're at the top, there's only one way to go." I have yet to reach the top, thus I have a constant tendency to write

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!  I'd like to share with you my Director/Actor/Editor Reel These are films written, produced and directed by me. I'm also an actor and there is so much more to come! I'm currently working on my next film. So, please stay tuned. It's a new year. Happy 2016! This is another new opportunity and another new beginning for me and for you, so make it matter and make it count! Because your dreams are never too big if you're willing to endure the struggle they come with. Your dreams are also never too small if they make your heart sing and your mind break fee from the shackles of fear . I'm scared to death of failure, but that doesn't stop me from failing and it sure as hell won't stop me from succeeding. I'll fail and fail and fail if that means I'm getting closer to triumph. All it takes is time... and a lot of courage. Thick skin helps too, and prayer/meditation. And love and support, of course. So, dream, dream and dre