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Showing posts from 2010

My story. My song...and my prayer for life, forever.

"Angel Out There" ...this is a song I wrote when I was nineteen years old. I remember I was lying on the floor in some disheveled bedroom that had been converted into a low rent, in-home recording studio. It was late that night, my head had collapsed into both of my hands and I felt my mind imploding inside of my bleached blond head. I was pensive and thinking to myself...will I ever make it? I had written at least fifty songs by the time I was nineteen. I wrote and recorded my first original song during the summer of '97, just before 9th grade. I was fourteen. I even managed to give Garth Brooks a copy of my demo a year later, in 1998. Garth was in Phoenix playing baseball during spring training, I lived in Phoenix. I had two original songs on a demo back then, I was so proud of myself and I was on this incredible and confident, victorious high. I was ready to rock the world! It's funny looking back, I was so incredibly ambitious as a kid, it blows me away when I

Caroline Myss "it's not that you don't hear your guidance, it's that you do..."

Caroline Myss is an Energetic Healer. She's also a proclaimed author, international speaker and war historian. Below is an excerpt from one of her recent conferences. It's poignant, good info to have in your back pocket. I wanted to share. Caroline Myss: "I think that many times we people in the west can make the mistake of thinking that because we attend seminars and we read books, that this is a substitute for a spiritual life, and it's not . It is not. A therapist, reading books, and seminars is no spiritual life. A spiritual life is a practice of prayer and a practice of pulling yourself into a journey of deep self knowledge where you examine yourself and you ask yourself why you're afraid of God, however it is you define God. I'm not talking about some "off planet" fiction, or some mythology, some bearded force, or some God or Goddess. Get away from vocabulary. Get away. What I'm talking about is a profound experience in you of dismant

what's happiness?

A comic in New York just asked me this very question, just now...from out of the blue. I have to think to myself...how does one answer this question? A comic offers us a smile. Happiness offers us a choice. We can laugh, we can "escape", we can seek satisfaction, we can hope, we can linger, we can wonder, we can try, we can pray...we can move along now and just let it all go...and then we can cry, because after all of that, we can still wonder... What is happiness? I think happiness is really just a simple understanding, it's understanding our impact on one another. Once we realize our power, our real God-given power to love, help and inspire others, then we can achieve "happiness". To understand how precious every passing moment actually is, and then to recognize the vitality of our very own existence, that being our influence on others--how we help them, how we love them. Do we? If so, if we do the Godly deed, only then do we learn to know our self. We le

regarding everything.

With much regard for everything and everyone, and for all those who do breath and walk the earth, there is hope. We live to be loved in this life. Without love and her mercy, we don't really live, we just get by...then we die. Sad but true. The heart can hardly breath without some sort of acknowledgment from grace, from forgiveness, from mercy. This is Love's recipe, it's food for the soul, yet often times we burn this dish. All too often. We burn all the bridges down too. Ashes fill the sky, the air becomes a toxic bath to our mind and spirit and we suffocate--we drown. We burn "dinner", we start fires, and we start wars. We start wars from the inside out too, and we end up back on the battlefield, unprepared for survival. As Pat Benatar puts it, love is a battlefield, so I guess we are the soldiers. Often times we're left unconscious, shot to the heart and there's someone to blame. Tell me, where is the soul when there is someone to blame? We go off to w

the wolves.

"Seek not to change the world, but to change your mind about the world." This was information given in A Course In Miracles. The real definition of a Miracle: When nothing bothers you anymore. I read a story in an email a few days ago. I read this story before, years back in a book. It's the story of two wolves... "Inside each of us two wolves are fighting. One wolf represents anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, and resentment. The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, truth, and compassion. This same fight is going on inside of you, and me and every other person. Which wolf will win? The one you feed most." The funny thing is, I heard this story being told again last night by someone. I was in a group lecture, and this story was told. To be hearing it again seemed a bit random to me, but then again, I don't think there's really such a thing as "random". There are also

dear mother teresa...i have a question.

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it. Life is bliss, taste it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is too precious, do not destroy it. Life is life, fight for it."   -Mother Teresa I really appreciate the simplicity of Mother Teresa's sensibility and aware with all. Her wisdom is forever received around the globe and honored and cherished by so many, and I think it's because of it's lucid candor. She's easy to understand. Plain and simple. But is it easy to do what it is she guides us to do? Hmmm...no. "Life is tragedy, confront it." Dear Mother Teresa,   This phrase stands out the most for me. I

my love story.

"The Lights". A Photo by AM. 'Cause we're all just lights...when we turn them on. Today I heard a woman say...  "However many people we can help is exactly how many people we can hurt." We must be so incredibly careful with people, some of them need us more than we realize. Some of them love us more than we realize.  To be loved from a distance, the story of my life. Looking back, I used to blanch fearfully at the thought of feeling vulnerable with someone. I would run away as fast as I could, you couldn't catch me, I was the gingerbread woman. Eventually I was caught. It felt as if I'd been passionately arrested in the name of Love's Law, on the run for too long, I was seized and taken into custody. I was taken into the custody of the heart, the heart caged and hiding within the prison bars we lock ourselves behind--sentenced to life, never to be freed. I was behind bars, tangled "in love". I felt like I was in love for

connected, a deep down kind of thing.

Tuesday, Oct 19, 2010 "When someone ruffles our feathers, it’s because we are seeing an aspect of this person that exists in us as well. We attract people who mirror our own negative traits. That’s why these people are in our lives – to offer us an opportunity to transform ourselves, and our anger. It is in moments of darkness that we can find the Light. If we transform our nature and we don’t react with anger, life will become a little better each time we change. And slowly we can experience the purpose of our life – fulfillment." -Yehuda Berg We are all very connected. And to the person whom we find the most faults, that person usually being someone we love beyond our comfort, well...that person actually serves a divine purpose in our life; that person shows us what it is we need to change about our self. I think that's what Yehuda is saying, in a word. What I don't like about you, I don't like about me. It's a deep down kind of thing.

the social network.

Only envision what you want, not what you don't want. I read that on someone's Facebook update. It's one of the best updates I've ever read. On this note, maybe I should pay more attention to the thousands of streaming Facebook updates. But personally, I don't care if it's raining outside or who's pissed, or who's single and who's in a complicated relationship, who blocked me, who blocked you. Why does it matter? I just like the inspirational stuff. Give me more of that! Last night I was at a Fleetwood Mac rehearsal at Sony. I had this same conversation with a woman whom I stood and mingled with afterward, great show by-the-way. You can't beat a night with Stevie Nicks, what an iconic voice. I joked with my manager during the rehearsal. In reference to Fleetwood Mac I said, this band has got some serious potential, they're going places...I hear a lot of hit songs! It was a funny moment. So after the show, this older and delightful, efferv

reflections.

Today I opened my eyes and came across the words, "harvest reflections". These words were typed onto a plastic label that tightly wrapped itself around my burning, delicious cinnamon pumpkin candle. I had just returned home from a long run and needed to rest my brain and my body for a moment. I've always said that my long, daily runs are my greatest release, but they're not really. I think my nirvana, so-to-speak, is actually when I'm doing nothing at all--eyes closed, mind silent (easier said than done). So today, after I opened my eyes, I realized my candle was trying to tell me something. "Harvest Reflections". I almost neglected to take in it's actual meaning too, my usual response to a candle label is naturally frivolous and uninterested. But, I started taking it in. I thought about it. I think there's always a "hidden" message awaiting it's discovery, everywhere and anywhere--billboards, license plates, coincidences...the list

don't fall for the crap.

  *Your True Self. I did some reading and some serious thinking on the plane over the weekend. I think that these simple truths that I've added below, these reminders; what we are not , it's all the information we need to know to find our true peace in life. Peace is all we need to overcome the struggle of life, a peaceful mind and a calm heart. If we stop taking everything so personally, then we become our True Self--we become soulful and compassionate. We understand more when we're less involved so-to-speak, and when we're unattached in a healthy way. Unattached in a "healthy way", to me, means you stop for a second and you look at the bigger picture. You don't stop loving. You stop hating. Everything means something. There's a reason for it all and everything does become a part of you, for the better or for the worse, depending on how you chose to respond to it. Our response is the only thing we've got going for us. IT'S THE ONLY THING

those who love us best.

There's one sad truth in life I've found While journeying east and west - The only people we really wound Are those we love the best. We flatter those we scarcely know, We please the fleeting guest, And deal full many a thoughtless blow To those who love us best. -Ella Wheeler Wilcox

destiny needs you.

"The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny." -Albert Ellis Who is there to blame? There's no one to blame. It's easier when there is, but it gets better when there's not, even if the getting better takes forever. It's the worth the wait. To blame is to forget. We forget the power we have within ourselves--the power to forgive and the power to honor our accountability. We're responsible for our chaos, no one else, and these are the first few mental steps we have to take when choosing to design our destiny rather than ungratefully except the one we don't want, the one being handed to us daily. We can stop and make some changes. There is time. Life is short, but there's always time to make it sweet. With the power of the mind affixed on the power of the spirit, the spirit within yo

thank you tragedy.

This is from the deepest depths of my heart. "Faith is the most challenging aspect to develop in ourselves. In order to have faith you have to have a crisis that requires you to find it." I read that this morning. We have to have a crisis and then thank God for the crisis. Like Kurt Cobain once said, "thank you for the tragedy, I need it for my art." We can do whatever we want to do with our pain, our crisis, our tragedy. We can do whatever we want. That's free will for ya! We can maintain the struggle, as though it's some kind of safeguard, for who are we if we were to actually let it go? Eckhart Tolle asks this same question in his book, A New Earth . This book really opened my eyes, and I needed to open my eyes at the time. I was blind to a lot of truth that I was refusing to acknowledge, and it was the kind of truth I needed in order to overcome some of the greatest pain I'd ever felt before in my life. I needed to save my soul. So...I questi

try again.

Try again no matter how many times you've failed, this I was told. Failure pushes us closer to our soul. "Doubt not; when you want to attain any righteous goal, cast away the thought of failure. You possess the creative power of Spirit. This Infinite Intelligence will guide you and solve every problem. The sunshine of divine prosperity has just burst through the dark sky of your limitations." -Paramahansa Yogananda The other day I heard a man say; "find what it is that will help you change your destiny." Find that "thing". I think when we find that thing, whether it be a dream, a passion, a love, or a longing faith, then we'll know our purpose in this estranged world, and we'll know our value and self worth in each others lives. I think this is what the journey of life is all about--knowing how to change our destiny by knowing what it is we must do for one another. This is how we'll learn to truly help ourselves, by having compassio

what matters?

Today I was told that when we're strong and when our heart is pure, we actually free ourselves from karma. "Every word we utter determines our rebirth, our re-incarnation." So what matters? Everything matters. Every single thing we do and say, matters. It may not matter now, but it will later.

i hope you remember this.

Saturday 9/2/10 Give till it hurts. It's the only kind of giving that means anything in the end. When it's easier to run away, don't. Chose love instead, the kind of love that has no expectations. It's the only kind of love that's real. I hope you remember this.

my religion.

Friday 10/1/10 I've been thinking about the word "deserve". I don't use this word anymore. I don't believe we deserve or don't deserve anything. Karma is Karma. What goes around comes around. This seems to be a mental theme of mine these past few days. "You get what you give",  I have it tattooed to my arm. I see it everyday. I have to ask myself; what do I give? What do you give? I've become much more aware. I don't deserve the positive or the negative in my life, I've earned it. I've replaced the word "deserve" with "earned". Everything is earned, whether it be "good" or "bad". I don't believe in "good" or "bad" either. I think every single circumstance simply offers us an opportunity for growth and enlightenment, if we want it to. We don't always want it to, but it does and it always will. This is my religion.

big change.

Thursday 9/30/10 Today I noticed; big change comes with big sacrifice. I really believe the two go hand in hand, and you do get what you give. That will never seize to fail. Never.

here and gone.

Monday 8/23/10 If at the end of the day we don't ask ourselves, "What did I do differently today?", then maybe that day was the same as the rest, simply here and gone and so are we.

the journey beyond.

Wednesday 8/25/10 To truly chose love is a journey beyond, within and without. It's a journey beyond the mind, within the soul, and without the fear of the outcome. As for the destination, I think that takes us life times to get to.

suffering.

Wednesday 9/8/10 If our suffering is not released from within our self through the act of forgiveness, we will become THAT which we have resented for so long. Don't let the sun go down on your anger. Forgive and set yourself free.

fear.

Friday 9/10 Fear equals a destructive heart.  "Fear develops a malignant magnetism by which it draws to itself the objects feared, just as a magnet draws a piece of iron, and thus increases our miseries. Fear paralyzes courage and will power. Fear contaminates strong imagination and feeling. Fear throws a veil on intuition, shrouding the power of your natural confidence that springs intuitively from the all-conquering soul. Uproot fear from within by deep concentration on courage and absolute peace within. Fear cannot enter a quite heart." Courage equals a loving heart.

titiksha.

Wednesday 9/15/10 "Worry is the brake on the wheels of your effort. Nothing is impossible unless you think it is. No sensation or mental torture can affect you if the mind is dissociated with it. Practice titiksha, Sanskrit, for an even-minded endurance. When you practice such self-discipline, your mind becomes impervious to all disturbing circumstance and you can free yourself. Try to rise above gradually."

angels of energy.

Saturday 9/18/10 "God made us angels of energy. You are only dreaming that you have a body of flesh. Your real self is light and consciousness." "There is nothing greater than the power of the mind. It is true that the human's ego is embodied only once under one personality and form. But although the ego successively relinquishes the in-dividualities of it's incarnations, it yet carries within subconscious chambers, the pleasures and terrors of the experiences of all past lives. Each person feels within them self many subterranean fears that are rooted in dark experiences of lives long forgotten. Resurrect your mind." Angels of energy have the power to change everything.

for me and you.

Monday 9/20/10 For us. "Dear God, May we each be able to awaken your love in all hearts. Peace, Amen." "All of you have tasted love in some form in your hearts; therefor you know a little about what it is. But you have not understood how to develop love, how to purify and expand it into divine love. A spark of this divine love exists in most hearts in the beginning of life, but is usually lost because we do not know how to cultivate it. Many people wouldn't think it even necessary to analyze what love is. They recognize love as the feeling they have for their relatives, friends, and others whom they feel strongly attracted. But there is much more than that. If you could feel even a particle of divine love, so great would be your joy--so overpowering--you could not contain it. The satisfaction of love is not in the feeling it's self, but in the joy that feeling brings. True love is divine, and divine love is joy. Joy is God.&

creating.

Tuesday 9/21/10 Our true enemy is actually our very own ignorance--Deepak Chopra's wisdom. To me, this is self-realization. Most of our life, for what it is and what it's going to be, is up to us. It always has been. We've been given the power to create; for what is a dream if we are not to create? Creating comes from deep within ourselves, it's practically buried, and we finally dig it up after our lives have finally dug us up...from what feel like a grave. I know I've died a few times. Creating is a profound belief in one's self, emanating from loving one's self and overcoming one's self. It's understanding that life will only be what we want it to be. Though we may beg to differ, I do sometimes. I have to ask myself; if life is what I want it to be, then what is it that I really want? 'Cause this is what I got and this is what I've created. My life is a reflection of me.   We each have the ability to control

authenticity is the key.

Wednesday 9/22/10 Authenticity is the key, it's only key that will unlock the door to our better self, our soul. It's the key that opens the gates to heaven, the one here on Earth. Heaven on Earth is love, the real authentic kind of love that we can trust, the kind our hearts secretly cry out for in the night, because it's unconditional. The heart unattached to the illusion of loss fosters authentic love. There is nothing to lose in this life, there is only something to gain and something to learn from. Detaching from the illusion of loss that controls my mind and conceives my pain, has been the hardest thing for me to do in my entire life. I believe the mind is in desperate need of healing. When we heal our mind, we heal everything. It's a revelation, the one I dedicate to love, authentic love.

true peace.

Saturday 9/25/10 True Peace. "Peace, a king once spoke, does not mean we are in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace." We are driven here and there by prevailing winds and tides. We can each learn how to navigate in a more positive and effective direction by meeting each challenge and each sorrow with grace, courage, confidence and peace. We will get hurt, as long as we're alive and breathing, we will get hurt, but there is always a light at then end of the dark tunnel, and there is peace in a world of chaos, if we seek it. "May your life be filled with the peace and joy that is ever present within your soul. Nothing can interfere with success if you acknowledge the divine Power that is within you." Anything can succeed, anything we want. We just have to know what we want. Then we do it, all t

hope.

Sunday 9/26/10 To Hope. I have had an immense amount of hope in a lot of things that didn't work out the way I planned...and, it broke my heart. I guess life is what happens when it doesn't fit according to our plans. I still believe this, and I always will... "When the world says, "Give up," Hope whispers..."Try it one more time." Our heart can heal, though it may be scared forever, it can heal when there's hope. With hope anything's possible. Anything. "The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes."   -Thomas Hardy Peace and Hope.

a thousand miles from nowhere.

Wednesday 9/29/10 I've always liked this song, I like it more now. "I'm a thousand miles from no where time don't matter to me 'cause I'm a thousand miles from no where and there's no place I want to be. I got heartaches in my pockets I got echos in my head And all that I keep hearing are the cruel cruel things that you've said So I'm a thousand miles from nowhere Time don't matter to me I'm a thousand miles from nowhere and there's no place I want to be." -Dwight Yoakam There's really no place I want to be other than at peace. Peace within; this is how I survive. The rest of my life will unfold, it's the inevitable and there's nothing more to it. "Survivors, the people that somehow make it, have the capacity where their soul becomes stronger than their body and they have the power to keep the body engaged in a capsule of timelessness through the power of their soul. It's as if t