Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn

Wednesday, May 11, 2016


I've been away. And now I warmly welcome myself back to my beloved blog. I could never abandon you. This is where I run not to hide, but to reveal myself... to myself. Sometimes I forget who I am. I'm so many things, and yet sometimes I feel like nothing at all. This isn't a sob story either. I actually think to feel "like nothing at all" is liberating, it's relaxing because I try, you try, we all try so hard to be something every day all day. Well most of us do. I see people who don't try at all, but that's another story and they're drunk and sleeping on a sidewalk. We try and try and try until we just say:

Fuck it!! I am who I am! Whoever that is. I'll try to be somebody better tomorrow. I'll try to make more money tomorrow. I'll try to be heard tomorrow! As for now, I'm not doing anything. I'm turning on Netflix. Shut up world! I'm gonna be a couch potato. Or just a potato. Or a strawberry for God's sake! I don't want to feel like anything at all right now!! I just want to be a strawberry. And that's totally cool. Be a strawberry.

But to be nothing - to be no one... and to really believe it, well that's terrible. It reminds me of a story.

But first I have to say, I have readers from all over the world and this is pretty awesome. I've discovered all my blog visitors by use of my weekly statistic report and I really couldn't be more delighted to know that there are so many individuals out there returning to my blog page. People in France. People in Denmark. Florida, Saudi Arabia (true story), London, Brazil, Athens, Greece, Argentina, Italy, Moscow, Mexico, Ohio. The list goes on, and for those of you who are return readers, thank you. Seriously. Thank you! It's because of you that I am drawn back to this world regarding everything - commanded back to my literary sanctuary, a place I didn't think anybody cared about but me. But that was years ago. I've learned people do care. In a world where people don't care, they actually do. I give my regards to you and to everything, because everything is something. And everyone is someone.

Now for my story. Everyone is someone.... Demi Moore said that to me. Well, she said it to mother actually, after my mother introduced herself to Demi Moore as "no one". "Hi, I'm no one", said my mom. Then there was an awkward beat of silence and a handshake. Demi Moore crinkled her forehead and I just looked at my mom the way a mother looks at her child. Role reversal, if you will.

You poor child, I thought. Get some confidence!

This was years ago and to this day I'm still thinking back on it. Still crinkling my forehead the way Demi scrunched hers. I mean, how cool for starters. Demi Moore. Really? How? Where? Why? Does she look great? Yes. Then there was Ashton... Kutcher... who also looked great and stopped everything he was doing to give me a kiss before I left. Wait huh?! No way. Omg why? Lucky! .... Calm down. It was a tasteful corner-of-the-mouth, almost the cheek, but not quite the cheek kind of kiss. Still enough to write home about, and still enough to make me think he and Demi were divorce bound, but not enough to write a whole blog about, and not enough to turn me straight. We chatted about Kabbalah. Kiss, kiss. The end.

That's not the end! What happened?

We crashed a film premier party at the Sunset Tower Hotel in Hollywood on a chili Saturday night back in 2011. It might of been 2010. I can't keep track of time anymore. I used to bartend at this joint, this opulent, made of money joint. Prince, Jennifer Aniston, J Lo, Penelope Cruz. You name it. They were there. And I was always late to get there, so I got fired. Whoo hoo!! This celebrity hideaway became my wine and dine getaway for years to come, and I didn't have to make anyone a drink or ring in an order of garlic aioli french fries ever again, so I liked it a lot more during those years to come. I'd walk in and people thought I was a famous person. I owned it. I loved it. I couldn't help but soak it in. Isn't that what Hollywood is for? Being an obnoxious, egomaniac on a possible fame trip?

Yes. For the most part. Absolutely yes.

So, I've rung that out. I'm like a sponge. I absorb what I need when I need it, then I ring that shit out. I don't care if I'm ever a famous person. Fame does strange things to people. LA has taught me that. I just want to be a happy person. (Cliche I know) (But so true) Writing makes me happy, not being mistaken for Emmy Rossum. That just makes me feel...well, hmmm... not as rich as the real Emmy Rossum I guess.

Anyways. I diverted. Back to my story.

We crashed the party after my mom told the big guy with the ear piece that we were guests. Cool! I thought to myself. We're guests! Go mom. And without looking at his guest list, and without really looking at my mom, so after looking at me (swank and chic, maybe Emmy Rossum) well... he believed her. She must be my mom, were his thoughts. I could tell just by looking at him. And I must be somebody...

Yes. I am somebody. And I don't need security or Demi Moore to tell me that! But I'm glad Demi did, 'cause my mom needed to hear it. And I'll give her credit, she listened. My mother took that wisdom by the throat and then she strangled it after talking about her self published novel for twenty minutes straight. Demi backing off just a little. And there I was, ready to go have a beer with Demi. Demi  just needed another beer. She needed another Corona Light, not another pitch from an aspiring film maker/novelist. Her eyes growing heavy. My mother still talking. Demi's stance, unbalanced. She was drunk! Drunk and overly friendly and very inspirational because my mom was somebody now and she believed it because Demi Moore said it straight to her face. She wasn't nobody, she was somebody, somebody with a great divorce story and hey, Demi, you should be in it!! You can play me. Said my mother. Lol. I was bored, yet lost in Demi's face. Reminded of Indecent Proposal. One of my favorite movies. Demi was polite. Maybe too polite. Thank you Corona Light, you are a miracle worker. She told my mother to contact her agent, but didn't give her agent's info to my mother... but maybe she could Google it? Yeah. Google "John".

Demi to my mother, word for word: "His name is John. Just tell him you met me here."  My mom to Demi: "What is this?" Then Demi to me: "You probably know him." And I'm left to think: "Because I'm famous too? And this is a premiere party, mom." (eye roll)

Bless your heart Demi. You are somebody, and not just because Ghost, but because you gave me a wonderful memory.

And I don't know John, your agent. But thank you for assuming I did... because I'm probably somebody.

I absolutely am somebody! Everybody is somebody and we all have a story to tell. So go tell yours. Now I need Corona Light.

Cheers! Kiss kiss.

"Was that really her?" -My mom.  "Yes." -Me.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

mad genius

Harper Lee, the celebrated author who wrote To Kill A Mockingbird has passed away, as I'm sure you've heard. A gifted and famed writer she was. A glorified one who's book we all were forced to read in high school. And it was a great book! A vintage, old saw that gave Harper Lee illustrious notoriety. 

But why not more? Why are we only left with one, no...two books by this praised author. WHY?!? And her second book was actually her first book entitled; 'Go Set A Watchmen', which is considered to be the 'To Kill A Mockingbird' first draft, which wasn't released until 2015. So, why not another book, or twenty more books by Harper Lee? Well, Harper Lee said it herself. When asked how she felt about possibly writing another book after obtaining such success with her first, she replied, "I'm scared... Because when you're at the top, there's only one way to go."

I have yet to reach the top, thus I have a constant tendency to write, or hunger-to better yet. Sometimes I don't have the time to sit down and do what I love (so tragic), and sometimes I do. I am on a mission to make the time and to make the time daily. And when I do... boy do I sense my own orbit in a whole new way. Oomph! Impulse, enthusiasm, zest, growth and a smile are just a few effects caused by creativity and my efforts to live beyond the fear it causes me. I'm afraid of not having enough time, which is a paradox because all I have is time. I'm also afraid of not succeeding and/or being praised for my work -- feeling special and important. You know, all those things we've all struggled with since birth. But, I'm not paralyzed by these fears, so I push forward regardless. Even if I'm pissed off, it passes. And much like Harper Lee, I too am afraid of not being able to "out do myself "one day. Why? Because I am well aware of the mad genius that takes over me and it's not me. It's something else and that something else wants to do great things through me. Big BIG things. This I know. And this is called confidence. I don't always have it, but it's there when I call on it. And it's that 'something else', that mad genius, that keeps me alive. Literally. It's why I'm writing this blog and it's why I know I can't stop writing, because, as my favorite author, Elizabeth Gilbert, puts it... "In the end, creativity is a gift to the writer, not just a gift to the audience."

"Just write anything and put it out there with reckless abandon." - Elizabeth Gilbert

"I wish Harper Lee had kept writing. I wish that, right after Mockingbird and her Pulitzer Prize, she had churned out five cheap and easy books in a row -- a light romance, a police procedural, a children's story, anything.You might think I'm kidding, but I'm not. Imagine what she might have created, even accidentally, with such an approach. At the very least, she could have tricked everyone into forgetting that she'd once been Harper Lee. She could have tricked herself into forgetting that she'd once been Harper Lee, which might have been artistically liberating. I wish someone had been able to convince Lee to keep writing for the entirety of her life, and to keep publishing all along. It would have been a gift to the world. And it would have been a gift to her, as well -- to have been able to remain a writer, and to have enjoyed the pleasures and satisfaction of that work for herself. And any other creator, famous or obscure, who ever vanished beneath the shadow of their own real or imagined reputation. I wish somebody had told them all to go fill up a bunch of pages with blah-blah-blah and just publish it, for heaven's sake, and ignore the outcome." -E. Gilbert

Writing more, producing more -- creating MORE is the hardest thing to do for some of us, including myself, because we need the idea first, and a great idea is like a balloon. It's filled with that which gives us life, but it's gone if we let it go. Poof! Into the sky it goes, and we get to watch it leave us from down below. Depressed. There's nothing more disappointing than being inspired and not doing anything about it. Now we need another new idea.

Better yet, we need a fantastic idea! And that fantastic idea MUST BE ACTED ON, or that fantastic idea is onto the next fantastic, creative person with an imagination to die for. It's onto the next artist with the power to create and a genius that can't be tamed. 

So take your ideas by the horns, and when you do act on them, give yourself a pat on the back but don't stop there. Create more. Write more, or paint more, or take more photos, build more breath taking landscapes, teach more people, help to heal more people. Keep doing whatever it is you do to live your life creatively, beyond fear.  The two are the same.

Be a mad genius, but don't take all the credit! There just might come a day when you do finally rise to that coveted TOP, that place they call the American Dream. That place you call SUCESS. And once you do get there, once you've published that book, or that screenplay, or that album, or that whatever thing you want to see succeed, you have to prepare yourself. Prepare myself for what? Well, like Harper Lee said... Once you're at the top, there's only one way to go. And going down hill takes some preparation. You have to make sure your heart "brakes" work because you're going to have to stop yourself from punching someone in the face when your next project flops and they tell you it sucked. You got to make sure your mind-engine is tuned-up so your thoughts don't turn on you like assholes during an ego induced crisis. Your thoughts have to be your friends, not your enemies. That could take some work, and maybe some yoga. You have to make sure your battery is charged so nothing stops you, even if you are on a downward slope. Who says going downhill is such a bad thing? Isn't that what we live for on the ski slopes?

I'm not a cynical person who thinks we can't have success without an accompanied failure or catastrophe. I just know with certainty that life is unpredictable and full of surprises. It could end at any time, and being scared really just isn't worth it. Welcoming your mad genius is.

I believe in the power of constant creation whether treading upstream or down. I don't invest my energy into the ups and downs - the great highs and shitty lows. I feel it sometimes, and it can hurt like hell but it passes. And when it does pass, after a few glasses of wine, I plunge myself back into the process of writing, which takes dedication, and completing, which takes focus. And I go where the wind blows me, like that idea balloon, even if it starts to rain. We can't have the rainbow without a little rain (Dolly Parton). And we can't act on the idea if we let the balloon go.

Unlike Harper Lee, who was phenomenal but limited herself, I want to create lots of stuff, even after I'm really famous, or before, or if I never become really famous! Why? Because who cares about being famous when what you're doing simply makes you happy. Thus, I'm writing three different screenplays at the moment, striving to focus each day and allot myself a window every morning to sit down and WRITE. Because it's what makes me happy.

One Love, One War is still in full swing. I'm in a state of re-write and "perfecting", which, in turn, keeps the story alive and well. Because frankly, I'm scared to death to let a script sit and collect dust. If it's dusty, then I'm dusty (figuratively speaking). I know I have a lot of dirty work to do, but I'm not one for dust.

Here's the deal: I want so badly to produce my film. One Love, One War is my passion project. It's my MASSIVE project and getting it made properly will take millions of dollars, and I believe in this possibility because I believe in myself. I wrote a love story about humanity vs. evil amidst the days of Hilter and his followers. It's a thriller about a spiritual battle within a war against humanity, and in this war... we are all one. So, I don't plan on giving up on this powerful film, or getting too far away from it. Again, if it collects dust, so do I. Thus, I am re-reading it and making fixes - doing a good edit - staying IN IT. Staying excited ABOUT IT. And meanwhile, I'm ferociously (on most days) writing two other scripts. I'm not sure if they're as good as One Love, One War, and I'm not one hundred percent positive they'll sale. But I still can't let that stop me. 

But, lets say I do win an Academy Award for One Love, One War one day. Lets just say that happens (big smile on my face right now). Do I stop there? Do I back off in the Caribbean somewhere because I'm at the top now and I'm not so sure I can go any higher -- top my own success. Top myself. It is a world war two thriller/love story. I mean... those are usually pretty amazing films, and I wrote an amazing one too. (tooting my own horn) So, let's say it happens.

And the Oscar goes to..... ME! Yay! Lots of tears and more tears. Maybe some hysterical laughing and let me grab my speech. Oh God where is my speech? Kiss my girlfriend. Kiss her again. Smile. Try not to jump up and down, or TRIP like Jennifer Lawrence. I can already see it. It's awesome. (give me a second. To. Enjoy...)

Okay. I'm back.

I won. So, now do I write that dark comedy about my life in LA? The one I started a year ago and haven't finished. Do I write my FBI story about an intuitive woman on the brink of suicide who has a few revelations that save her life? Or, do I stop and revel in my success -- frolic in approval and praise because I wrote a master piece and won a prize, because I'm a genius (who forgot to give credit to the mad genius that guided me) and that's all I can do and be. Do I become so vapid that I actually take ownership of the inspiration that passed through me like a fever leaving me too hot, bothered and scared to ever write again?

Do I let the "once you're at the top, there's only one way to go." thought defeat me? Do I fear my self to the point of no return, no return to a creative life.

No. I won't do any of this. I refuse to give up on my creative living, and I balk at my brilliance because it's not mine. I'm just inspired and open to ideas, ideas that I grabbed by the horns. Ideas that agreed to stay.

This keeps me real. 

And speaking of real, there is really no such thing as "reaching the top", not if the sky is the limit, or better yet... the universe. And when there's no top, there's no bottom. We're just guided here, there, waaaaaayyyy over there. Closer to here. Back over there. We're forever guided.

We're lead by something else, and it's that mad genius that just happens to happen to us. It's those great ideas that flow through us making us free (emphasis on free) to rise and fall, unknowingly. Because when our thinking is not obsessed with getting to "the top" then we're focused on The Journey. We don't even notice the ups and downs at that point. We just experience the process... the process of of understanding our self... better. Because after all, that's what life is all about.

So be embrace that mad genius, even if it's scary. Just don't call yourself a mad genius, because you're not. And if you think you are, be very afraid of failure and your own success. You're simply inspired by something greater than you, and it's a genius.

Never stop creating. Creation takes you beyond fear. And that's your magic. Be magical and say hello to the mad genius.

Peace and love. 

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! 

I'd like to share with you my Director/Actor/Editor Reel

These are films written, produced and directed by me. I'm also an actor and there is so much more to come! I'm currently working on my next film. So, please stay tuned.

It's a new year. Happy 2016! This is another new opportunity and another new beginning for me and for you, so make it matter and make it count! Because your dreams are never too big if you're willing to endure the struggle they come with. Your dreams are also never too small if they make your heart sing and your mind break fee from the shackles of fear. I'm scared to death of failure, but that doesn't stop me from failing and it sure as hell won't stop me from succeeding. I'll fail and fail and fail if that means I'm getting closer to triumph. All it takes is time... and a lot of courage. Thick skin helps too, and prayer/meditation. And love and support, of course.

So, dream, dream and dream some more because that's what our life is made of - dreams. And nightmares. Angels and assholes. Hearts and souls. Courage and the lack of...

So be courageous and dream like you're going to live forever! Be an angel not an asshole. And if you get a minute, check out Elizabeth Gilbert's latest book, Big Magic, Creative Living Beyond Fear. I'm currently reading it and it's awesome. FEAR IS BORING and so are we when we're afraid. And though we have to learn to live with our boring little friend fear because she's incapable of truly being eradicated from our system, that doesn't mean we have to be afraid. So, here's to confidence despite our fear and balance despite our chaos!

And here's to a little excerpt from E. Gilbert's book that I really dug...

"Dearest Fear: Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together. I understand you'll be joining us, because you always do. I acknowledge that you believe you have an important job to do in my life, and that you take your job seriously. Apparently your job is to induce complete panic whenever I'm about to anything interesting--and, may I say, you are superb at your job. So by all means, keep doing your job, if you feel you must. But I will also be doing my job on this road trip which is to work hard and stay focused. And Creativity will be doing its job, which is to remain stimulating and inspiring. There's plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, so make yourself at home, but understand this: Creativity and I are the only ones who will be making any decisions along the way. I recognize and respect that you are a part of this family, and so I will never exclude you from our activities, but still--your suggestions will never be followed. You're allowed to have a seat, and you're allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to have a vote. You're not allowed to touch the road maps; you're not allowed to suggest detours; you're not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you're not even allowed to touch the radio. But above all else, my dear friend old familiar friend, you are absolutely forbidden to drive."

Don't be afraid of your fears, accept them and put that shit in check! Because, life is short. Don't be scared to live it. Have a great new 360 days of joy, fear, victory, fear and more joy! 

Saturday, December 12, 2015


A film by Anne-Marie Evans

Hello again dear readers. Tis the season and I'm back on my blog! Happy Christmas (said in my English accent that I wish was real) and happy holidays, all holidays. It's been a bountiful year for me and these last six months have been persevering, to say the least. I launched my latest film trailer and crowd fund campaign, which you can visit here on Indiegogo. I directed and starred in the trailer, which you can watch, and my plan now is to make the film! This is where you come into the equation. Yay! You get to be a part of this film too... if you'd like to be.

Visit the link and if you love what see and feel inspired, compelled, moved or even slightly entertained...then please do support my film. I spent an ass load of money making the movie trailer and I need an ass load of money to make the film, and assloads of money don't fall from trees, at least not yet, so donate to the making of this film, share the link, reach out to me on Facebook! Seriously. Any support is FANTASTIC.

This is a film that will inspire people. Why, because we all suffer and overcoming that bondage is inspirational. This film will make you smile and it will make you cry. It does all those delicious things that wake us up inside and make us think. And, these are the kind of films we need in today's world...because today's world is horrid! Love to all who fall victim to the atrocities. God bless and God speed.

My film Cookie is about an FBI agent turned suicidal drug addict. After two sudden deaths violently knock agent Alex Anderson of her feet, she loses all hope and feels as though she has nothing to live for anymore... until she meets Cookie, the adorable little white dog, and his owner David. This is a film about loss - loss of the ones we love, loss of hope. Addiction is the undertone in this film, recovery is the intention and love is the reverie. Love is the spirit. So, for anyone who's ever had a dream, lost a loved one, lost all hope, fallen to addiction, overcome addiction and/or gained a new found glory and sense of hope by virtue of wisdom and truth, then this film is for you. There is a light at the end of the tunnel regardless of how far-flung it may seem, and that light shines for everyone. Please support, and if you do... THANK YOU. If you don't want to, thank you for reading. And do it  anyways! Because there's always time to change your mind. And there's always room for more love and support in the world. :)

As for the world outside my movie, it's tragically bitter and seems to be getting colder and colder each day. So, we have to suit up and stay warm... within. Braid your heart with your mind and defy evil with your actions and your smile because joy is what disturbs the monster-people the most, so stay happy in this unhappy world. Stay strong. And stay you.

Press onward and upward. Peace. -AM

Friday, August 14, 2015

you and snafu

Photo and meme by Danielle Grunkemeyer. 

I often wonder to myself... what does it really mean to be successful? 'Cause a Range Rover isn't going to do the WHOLE job. And whatever job it does do, it's going to involve heavy LA traffic, stop lights and me warding off impatience and anxiety in my attempt at being a better person. So, that surely isn't success. Kudos to my efforts at bettering myself, but the Range Rover just isn't the answer. Neither is the Oscar I hope to win one day... or the Emmy, or the Golden Globe, or the Grammy. Hell, I'm not picky. I'll take 'em all! And when I do, if I do, oh I hope I do... it still won't define success. It may for some, but not for me. Porque??

Because nothing's ever enough. My brutal honesty. It the "not enough" syndrome and it's probably something most of us can relate to in one way or another. This snafu complex has it's pros and cons too. You can get a lot done when enough is never enough. You can thrive on a walloping sense of motivation, ambition, or even delusion when you just don't have enough. Maybe you're broke, so you join the rat race. You become that dog that eats the other dog because you must have more. There's nothing to lose when you have nothing. So, you go out there and you get more, but then you need more after that and then some more after that. And then maybe a little more after that too, or a lot more!

But they say less is more. And this is why they say that.

For someone like myself who believes firmly in having nothing to lose because life has an expiration date, I just think there's so much we fail to keep when enough is just never enough. For starters, we fail to keep it real, and that's the greatest tragedy of them all. When we pretend to be something we're not, we're not successful. We're convinced. We're persuaded into thinking that if we don't do it this way or that way, and if we didn't do this, this, and that, then we didn't do right. Thus, we did it wrong. Cue that horrid sense of failure and then that shitty infinite fear of more failure.

Now we fail to keep our thoughts in check, our dreams in motion, our sanity, and our confidence while we twirl in a vicious circle not called life. It's called confusion.

The not enough syndrome also has several side effects, confusion being the most customary as well as anxiety and stress. Hernias and strokes are the more serious side effects. It' a catch-22, this little thing called wanting more and then getting it. But it's not SUCCESS.

True prosperity doesn't come with an awful aftertaste. It comes with knowledge. You have to know who you are. Whether your dream is to win an academy award or your dream is to wine and dine with the love of your life, knowing who you are and fearlessly being that person is what success is all about.

You'll have a rewarding relationship with your self and that in itself crowns your interconnection with others. You'll have a successful life doing what you enjoy doing because you know what makes you happy and you have the courage to go out there and do it, even if it is just for a moment of the day.

"Every passing moment is another chance to turn it all around." 

Success isn't accompanied by a measuring tape. You don't have to reach great heights. You just have to reach that place where you say, "I am who I am and that's enough." You don't need a Range Rover to do that. You need a realization or two or two hundred because knowing who you are is a journey of it's own. It's a path that takes you to the core of everything that happens to you in this human experience. You get to your core and you don't get there in a Porsche, you get there simply by being here. Present and totally at peace. That's success.

Victory, on the other hand, is to know you still have so much more to learn about yourself, and you keep learning and you keep smiling too, because knowing yourself better is exciting.

Life is short. So, keep looking up. It makes everything taller. And keep looking within. It makes everything beautiful.

Sat Nam.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015


This is me. And this is her.

To start, I'd like to share this video from a song I wrote entitled "Something Else". This was the first single off my album entitled FORWARD, which released back in 2012. This song is about hope and healing and so is the video.

Without hope there is no healing and without healing there is no hope. They go hand in hand. There's nothing else without the two, and there's nothing to look forward to either. And that's p-r-e-t-t-y depressing. But there's an upside! There's a brighter side somewhere else... where the grass is greener (because you watered it) and because you made the effort to live and learn rather than just live and die. You choose the life you want to live or you don't, someone else does, and you live unhappily ever after. You choose. I choose. We all choose. We either opt for something else or we opt for nothing else and nothing changes.

I want something else and I want it every day. That doesn't mean I want everything to change on a daily basis. I love my life. It just means I rekindle my world on the inside, and as often as possible.  All it takes is gratitude, a deeper breath, more awareness and a whole shit ton more of that crazy thing called patience. And red wine. Ha! Now the will to change the things I have the power to change is mine for the taking. Cheers! Here's to something else! Something incredible. New directions. New perspectives. New beginnings.

A new path.

As for the path I've already beaten, she's a friend. She's been a jerky, uneven, rocky one at times, but she's still a friend - a noble one and much appreciated. Thanks old path! I have no regrets. She makes me who I am and she's gotten me to where I am. As for the turnpikes up ahead, that path I've yet to tread. All I know is she's a bit of a mystery, an alluring one to say the least. In my head she's everything I want her to be. She's perfect. I'm wealthy, maybe even famous. I'm driving a really hot car. I'm shopping in Greece. I'm super materialistic! Ha! A+ for keeping it real. I am only human. And in my human heart, the path I've yet to tread is actually the concrete beneath my feet right now. My heart says this fluffy rug and this cold hardwood floor, this soft breeze from the air-conditioner and my itchy toes, are what matters most. This desk where I'm writing this blog, the delicious fourth cup of coffee I shouldn't be drinking and the cute dog that's barking - it's her. She's the beauty in my bed. Her morning kisses.  It's this very moment. Perfection is right now says my heart. I have everything I need.

A new perception.

And in my soul, it's the only perception. Everything else is distortion. Life is now. To think it starts when I'm rich and famous, or shopping in Greece, or anywhere other than HERE is a false interpretation of the truth. And the truth is... life is a journey and it starts here right now, but that's not all. She's so much more. I have yet to discover her entire-ness. That could take lifetimes. I do know she's a constant reminder to just let go... because she doesn't last forever. She's short and sweet like a poem so live and let love. If we don't, then she's long and winded. And she's a lesson, a slow and painful one for many. I prefer poetry.

So a poetic path she is 'cause she's what's written. She's destiny. She's serendipity and a parallel life. She's beautiful. And until the mysterious future shows its face, life is what she is and what's meant to be will be. I like to call my life a she because I see her as female... like me. Like mother earth. Like the spirit goddess within. She's the woman who gives birth to healing hands and hearts that weep with mercy. She grants consistency to hope. I relate. I understand. And yet, I have so much to learn... about myself.

About her.

I feel deeply compelled to discover her meaning though - her outcomes amidst her battles, her victories amidst her glories. 'Cause this is me... and this is her. And yes Madonna, life is a mystery but we don't have to stand alone. I prefer to dance... and it's takes two to dance together. To dance with her...

But it only takes one to discover her meaning. And One Love is indeed... her glory. And it's Something Else.

Enjoy the video! Sat nam.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

about me

  .... I love Marilyn Monroe. She was a beautiful, extraordinary, goddess princess. Nuff said. 

I also like Italian food, long, corn ball walks on the beach... but this isn't a dating profile so let me get to my blog. It looks like dialogue cause I'm a screenwriter --

(eating chocolate, 
 slightly whimsical)
As an artist!!! As an artist... as an artist -- Or, more specifically!  As a writer, director and musician... I just strive to help make a difference in the world... and that change starts with me. So, I tell all here at "Regarding Everything" in hopes of provoking more honesty and open-ess in the world "out there". 
Because we're starving for open-ness and honesty!!! We want the truth!!! 
                 (Jack Nicholson voice) 
But we can't handle the truth!!! Seriously though, we're hungry.... They should put truth in $1 bean burritos or Kale. We'd get so fat on authenticity and virtue. It'd be awesome, in a fat way. We're also totally desperate, if not needy, for love! But I'm not judging. I'm totally needy and desperate for love too, every second Sunday of the month and maybe on Tuesdays. Or possibly every day but who's counting?  I am! Why!? Cause I'm a WRITER and WE GOT ISSUES and I gotta figure my shit out fast so I can write about it! And tell all! Ha. Now give me a cookie for my honesty. Or a glass of wine. I'd prefer a glass of wine actually, that way I can drown my issues in antioxidants, "oh shit!" text messages, and a good buzz.   
                 (totally humored by my own humor)
No, but seriously. My issues are beautiful. They give me "curves". Not physical curves though. I'm actually pretty thin. It's genetic. My mom is a treadmill. Spiritual curves is more like it. I don't go straight (ever)... I swerve to the left then to the right. I ride the waves like a surfer goddess. I bend. I break. And I say fuck it! #repeat.
I dare to live on the edge where it's risky... where I'm broken and beautiful. And thus, my issues.  But we all have them... whether we swerve hard and to the left or we play it safe. We all meander through the day 'doin' our thang' in hopes of NOT being confused anymore and maybe discovering our life's purpose one day.  And I believe we can obtain our life-purpose info, as well as more love and more truth more abundantly through the art of self profession and self-discovery... and include in there a deeper connection to others. Yes, it's an ART. Get my drift? That doesn't mean you have to paint, or sculpt, or web design, or act, or sing or write screenplays... It just means your art is what's in your heart, and we've all got a heart. So I simply dare you to DIG and go deeper within your own core. 
                (Clever, poetic)
What's your heART say? Do you dream beyond the night and day? Life is but a dream... or a nightmare depending on how you perceive it. So I say change your perspective! Dream. Listen to your heart. Get more real by getting more free... and then fly like a bird. And may that Free Bird journey be a glorious one...for you and for me. Sat Nam.