Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn
Monroe

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

my revolution



"When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."


A memento yes, but a fact? Of course! But I can hear it now; "No no...that's not entirely true. I judge that person because they're hurtful. They hurt me! That doesn't define me. It defines them." Or, "How is this possible? If I feel opposed by someone's misdeed, then how does that define ME? I'm opposed! Therefore I am defining THEM, I am not defining me"

Oh how a good argument (with myself) can make the world go round and round. My world goes round and round like a hula hoop. It's as though my life depends on me entirely, like a child - like a needy, beautiful, nagging little kid. Life is demanding and loud. I have to jolt my mind and spirit hips all day long just to keep my head above the muddy water! If I stop, so does my world. Sometimes I stop on purpose. I stop and do nothing and it's incredible. It's so restoring. When my world stops spinning, I realize I truly am a creator. And this magnificence; this grace, this God-given trait is what empowers me and grants me trust when I need it the most. I embrace the infinite creator within me with courage, not hesitation. Not anymore. Those days are long gone. But my days of judging are not. This is where I stumble. This is where I crawl.

Back to the memento: "When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."

"No, no no no. That's just not true." And poof! That was me in the spot light losing my religion. 

My cleverly subtle, but firm disclaims ring loud in my head! Squawking like sirens, I'm deafened by my own defense. I need an ambulance for my self-pride. She's having an anxiety attack, but she thinks it's a stroke because she's dramatic. I have a lot of pride. It's not a blessing, but it is a curse. It's a curse because I know my pride is feeble and disillusioned, and though she often means well, she only does harm in a spiritual sense. Dignity is one thing, but self-glorification is another. My self-glory shoots off mouth. She's crass and even vulgar (at times). When my ego trips she falls, and she falls hard. 

Then there's that part of me that knows this to be true: when you judge another...you define yourself. Yes, of course! I learned that years ago! Wait, no I didn't. I learned that today. I learned it all over again. Sigh... You see, this is something that we may or may not learn, and if we do learn it, we'll forget it. And then we'll learn it again because we'll read it on Facebook or Twitter, then we'll forget it again. Then the world will use our amnesia to go round and round! 

It really just depends on how open we are to that whole "letting go" thingy ma-jigger. I personally don't think anybody will understand this memento, or better yet this 'doctrine', if they them self are not willing to surrender at some point. At least a little. Baby steps count too. And by "surrender" I mean you have to be open to shifting your perception - a change of mind, or a change of heart needs to commence in some way or another. Some people suffer from heart-aches more then head-aches, so it's a subjective conversation to say the very least. Again, baby steps count. Figuring out whether your head hurts more than your heart (or) vice versa is a good launching pad for self-discovery. Though it does take longer when infantile conditions are applied. But regardless, you're still getting ahead with baby steps! 

Back to the memento again: "When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself." 

It's what all the great masters and gurus have said over the course of many centuries that have come to pass. And I totally agree! 

And then I don't. Now back to that part of me that says, "Uh hmmm (Clearing my throat). I beg to differ!" This is the part of me, or THE OTHER ME, that I believe I was born to understand. No, that's not the word I'm looking for. To distinguish. No. To accept?  No, that's still not it. To learn from?  Yes, but still no. I sense that I'm getting closer though. Oh, I got it! 

This is the part of me, or THE OTHER ME,  that I believe I was born...to revolutionize!

And how do I revolutionize the part of me that I do not fully understand? Shall I take baby steps? Yes I shall. My baby steps often look like questions. How do I distinguish the life inside of me that I have yet to fully accept? How do I learn from what cannot teach me, because I will not let it because I do not understand it? And what is it called? Do I call it me?

Some call it the ego. Some call it blindness. Christians call it sin. I associate THE OTHER ME with karma more than anything. That jives with me, but even fate and fortune both can fabricate a plentitude of variables, variables that have often plundered my faith and trust. Twists of fate can cause damage if we're not careful of what we wish for. Some call it a mistake - to lose sight, to argue with the TRUTH,  to rebel against mercy, to hurt someone, to be hurt, to lose everything. Is it a mistake though? If I am who I am because of my journey and all that came (and went) expectedly and unexpectedly, then was any of it really a mistake??

I'll never call it a mistake. Nothing about me or my sacred journey through life is a mistake. Not even THE OTHER ME is a mistake. Whoever she is, she's beautiful too. She just doesn't know it yet. 

It's not called a mistake. It's not called a sin. It's called life. 

Well, at least it is in my world.

I am life. And, I am love. I'm even pain and fear, and that's what makes me beautiful. Shadows are created by light. Without my shadows there would be nothing to revolutionize. And that's my revolution. 


I am what I am. The rest is history.


Friday, October 4, 2013

the rest is magic





Patience is not what happens when we force ourselves to wait on something or someone. Patience is what happens when we redirect our attention. When we focus on something we CAN control, rather than something we CANNOT control...we allow things to be as they are, without fighting with it. And that's when everything starts to fall into place...like magic.

Magic is what happens when we don't force it to happen.

And anxiety is what happens when we do. I've suffered from this infamous and unnerving ailment for years and years, and impatience is what has caused it! Anxiety sucks. 

Impatience has been an astute and very cunning friend of mine since childhood. Today, we still stay in touch, but I try to keep my distance as I am focused on spending more quality time with patient me now. Conscious me.


Patient me + Conscious me = A Better me.   


Looking back, way back...I think my attention span was dwarfed at birth, and so were my tolerance levels. Though, I hear I was a very calm baby. Okay, so maybe my lesser than finer qualities kicked in  during my early youth. I've changed over the course of 30 years, but I'll be honest as always, sometimes I short circuit. Sometimes I lose my head. I've even pushed people away, ALL THE WAY, because I was in such a hurry to get what I wanted. In the end, I got what I didn't want. I got grief, frustration, heartache, and a headache. I got more pain. Not more peace.

Impatience causes pain.

A collective mind has characterized 'beauty' and 'intelligence' as being both a blessing and a curse.  That I can understand, and I agree. But my mind says impatience is just a curse. Though, not everything that causes pain is a curse. More often than not, it's the very opposite. But impatience really isn't much of a blessing. Not when you take a closer look.

A closer look:

Sure, it's been a strong right arm for me at times, and probably for most of us. I've gotten a lot of shit done, BIG shit, in the name of impatience. I've experienced that coveted and vast sense of accomplishment and appease too - success and satisfaction! But, I've also been acclimated and hardened by that undesirable, vast sense of irritability, restlessness, snappy-ness, nervousness, exhaustion, and stress, and all amidst those deliciously vast feelings of 'excellence' and 'achievement'. Thus, it's not excellent and I've achieved one gigantic migraine. I'm not satisfied either.

To me, inner-peace is where it's at. THAT'S the most magnificent accomplishment, not vocation and/or world-ly achievement and status, though both are important to a certain degree. INNER-PEACE is what truly makes us. Without it, it breaks us. INNER PEACE is the greatest attainment and blessing there is to be had, and it doesn't come with a migraine.  But, impatience does!

Relieve your headache (or) heartache by surrendering in the name of patience, and know your inner-peace. Know a better you. A happier you. A healthier you.

But don't wait for it to happen. Patience is not what happens when we force ourselves to wait on something or someone. Don't wait for someone to love you. Don't wait for tomorrow. Wait on nothing, redirect your focus, and just be... patient. Now.

Allow.


And the rest is magic.


"Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity."

-Carl Jung



Thursday, September 12, 2013

2 cent hillbilly




Hi ya'll. Welcome back to this here kitchen. And hell...welcome back to this here blog!

As a writer and so many other things, I'd like to think that Regarding Everything is regarding YOU, in some way or another. So, once again thank you for stopping by. I hope I can make you think outside that cluster-f***** box, or at least laugh. I've always said laughter is the most affordable and self-efficient therapy there is to be had. Laugh when you'd rather not. You won't regret it.

So, I'm from Houston. "Hillbilly" is not quite my geographical disposition, but man is it fun talking like one! And on that note, I must admit I did live in Hot Springs, Arkansas for two years, years ago. So, thanks to those of you out there yonder who taught me how to talk this way. Couldn't do it without you!

This video blog is about one thing and one thing only. It's about YOUR SONG. Life in itself is a song, it's not just a dance. And your life is YOUR SONG, so sing it! Then dance to it. And hell, put on a show while you're at it, and show the world who you are. 'Cause life is short...when you're having fun.

It may take us an entire lifetime before we've written our song, but regardless...there's a melody inside each of us. I believe in the sad song, and I believe in the happy song. We're gonna write lots of songs.

But there will come a day when we will write our ANTHEM. And that anthem will be YOUR SONG.
This is the tune you'll waltz to at the edge of the world. It's the song you'll sing right before you die, and it's the song you'll sing just before you come ALIVE.

So, dance in heaven and dance here on Earth. Dance like no one is watching you...wishing they too were so incredibly courageous. Inspire the world one kick-ball-chain at a time!

But first...write your song. You ain't gotta be Loretta Lynn.


Thursday, August 8, 2013

a mental distraction



 A Mental Distraction is my is my latest video blog dedicated to all of you out there whom may be wanting to nourish a closer, more meaningful relationship with yourself. This video blog is for those of you who want to discover something inside of  yourself that you never knew existed, or you knew it existed, but you want to shed some light on it now so that you can live your life at your fullest potential, i.e. living in a more powerful mindset, living fearlessly and understanding your effectiveness in the world - your worth, your value, your self-acceptance.

Maybe you want to improve your life, or your health, or a relationship that needs healing. Or, maybe you want to develop a stronger sense of self so that you're less confused and more confident. You might want to learn how to accept and allow things to be as they are more willfully, more openly. Surrendering and allowing takes work, so does discovering who you REALLY ARE. I hope I can be of help and of service.

And, if you just need a laugh...perfect.

That's what I'm here for. I'm Anne-Marie Pauley and I'm not an alcoholic, but I do like a glass of red wine from time-to-time, and I also really enjoy combining comedy with spirituality. Does it get any better?

In this video blog, I've exploited my two personalities with positive intentions, and I say "my two personalities" with no shame because I don't have any. I've looked. IT'S NOT THERE. But, I do have different personalities! That's been confirmed. I'd like to think that I just have lots of ideas and lots of animus, but I have to be honest. I was born on the cusp of Gemini, so hot and cold are two "temperatures" that I'm very well aware of. I'm also familiar with luke warm, icy-cold, room temperature, boiling hot... On that note, I probably have four personalities. Maybe five. Maybe ten. But hey, whose counting? As long as they're all changing for the better, I'm fine with it. Make the world a better place...one personality at a time. Right?

I consider myself a vindicated spokesperson for love's intentions and the power of laughter. I advocate these two very good pointers here at Regarding Everything, as well as at my yoga blog Undergo Yoga, and via my blog videos at Youtube. Why? Because I believe laughter and love are one, unless of course we're laughing at someone and hurting them while we do it, then we're just being an asshole and "oneness" has left the room. And that doesn't mean grab the wine! I use to grab the wine when oneness left me and the room got shitty. Now I grab my computer and I write a blog! Or an email...

I believe in keeping oneness in the room - in every room if possible. And I affirm that love's intentions combined with laughter are the most practical and sufficient tools for doing so. Love and laughter are the remedies for curing the injured heart. A heart that's free of pain can transpire, and hopefully inspire, unity - oneness. It just takes work. Constant work. Laughing is conducive.

Laughter + Loving Intentions = Oneness. Yea!!!

So, when we're not laughing we probably should be, unless we're meditating or something. Then okay. But if we're not laughing because we're angry, then we probably should laugh instead. Just saying.

Because life is short...even when the days are long. It's still short. Our time here is limited, but it's still sacred.  If lived to serve others, our existence is divine. If lived to defy our fears and expand in our consciousness, our journey is cherished. Our life is simply perfect if lived to love always.

Enjoy.


Love Always,
Anne-Marie

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

less words, more feeling

Sending Love  to ALL.

May we never forget to take a moment out of our busy days to feel gratitude for all that we have,  for all that we all too often take for granted. May we learn to remember these people always in the pits of our hearts, in the vibration of our voice, and in the contemplation that stirs our thoughts. May we remember those who are less fortunate so that we may pray for them - for their health, for their healing, for their souls, and for their happiness.

May the world shift in its collective consciousness, starting with me. May our awareness deepen as our  intentions evolve, and may compassion save us each from our own self-destruction. Let's let love be our guide even when the going gets tough, because Love is the answer, even when nobody's asking any questions. 

Peace & Light,
Anne-Marie


Monday, July 15, 2013

Step Back


Welcome to my living room. In this blog video I discuss the power of observation. We start to see more clearly when we observe rather than judge our experiences in life, be it positive or negative. We start to cultivate awareness and a deeper understanding for who we are and what we're here to do. When we observe our experiences, we begin to understand ourselves better - we start to know ourselves better. And that's what life is really all about; knowing thyself. When we know who we are, we can love others for who they are. And this could indeed make the world a better place.

Life's curve balls are simply opportunities for each of us to exercise the power of our observation. Observe not to judge, but to examine and to learn from your experiences so that you may begin to detect the truth that is hidden within them, the truth that awaits its discovery by you. The truth is in everything and everyone.

Be a discoverer and you will know who you really are.

There's a reason for everything and for everyone whom crosses your path. Whether it be long term or short, re-occuringly or one-time only, everyone has a purpose and everyone has a message for you.

Indeed, how they deliver that sacredness will vary in itself, but regardless there will be a message and there will be a lesson. There will be karma, but there will be an opportunity for change. So, don't miss it!

We just have to Step Back first and B-R-E-A-T-H in order to obtain the message - in order to learn the lesson. In order to change and to live beyond our limits. We have to step back if we're ever going to truly step forward.

So step back and let yourself start to see more clearly by standing outside of your experiences. Rather than reacting to the experience, start to observe it.

OBSERVER it. ACKNOWLEDGE it and BREATH. Then you'll see the circumstance for what it really is.

Because it really is a BLESSING.

And with that, there is no need to judge anything. Life just is..... and so are you.  


You are what you see.


Love & Light,

AM


Thursday, June 27, 2013

better than insane.




Learn to nurture the new seeds of your well being.

As I delightfully savor those sweet words of wisdom chanted in my morning meditation today, I take a deep breath in...hold, and release. My body relaxes like it's never relaxed before. I feel different. Am I different? 

For the past two years, I've awakened to the early morning with a new habit awaiting my enthusiastic attention. Her name is Meditation. She's beautiful. We're in a passionate relationship with each other. When we break up, it's as though I'm completely lost. I'm confused. I'm tired. Angry. Bitter. My life gets the best of me. The corruption takes hold, takes advantage, and I'm trapped in threatening places I had once escaped. I pray in these dark places, after I scream. Then I meditate and we're together again. 

And when we stay together...life is good, even when it's not. 

Needless to say, my early bird tendency to lean on God stays pretty consistent, thank God. Redundant as that is. I guess I could say that I'm in a committed relationship with the divine - the most baffling of them all, and I've been baffled by many. God still has them all beat! He definitely moves in mysterious ways. I feel like God and I are able to communicate most effectively while I'm in deep meditation. I'm not sure what God is doing, but I assume he's listening in some way or another. This avert daily habit of mine, or what I like to think of as a redeeming break-of-day routine, is already two years old, and fortunately in meditation there is no such thing as the Terrible Two's. Meditation just gets better and better as I get older. 

And though we're now in a two year long relationship, all these prayers and this subtle silence will forever be new to me. It's all the noise and all those obnoxious egos that get so damn old. Mine included. My ego is probably bigger than most, being an overly sensitive, intelligent, control freak artist and perfectionist and all. I need meditation like I need air.

And I believe in the new. I attest its strangeness and its holiness, as I too am pretty strange and holy. I rely on the new and all her beginnings, beginnings that will inevitably lead me to all their anomalous endings. Then those endings will all be new beginnings, and so on and so on. They call this the circle of life. Or was that Elton John?

Thanks to Johnny Carson, I just call it WEIRD WACKY STUFF .

But honestly, it really is the only thing that truly lasts forever: The new. The untried. The untouched. 

Love has yet to be fully identified (by me), nor completely defined (by me), so I'm not sure what it's durability is set at - long term, short term. Fleeting. Vanishing. Lol. I dunno. I would prefer to think that something as marvelous as love does in fact last forever. I mean, isn't that what they say. They say it all the time.  Love is the answerThey definitely say that a lot.

I LOVE this Lily Tomlin quote:  "If love is the answer, can you please rephrase the question?"

LOL. Would they do that? I'm starting to wonder if they are all a bunch of delusional liars who just want to make love, not war. But who doesn't? We all like making love, but LOVE IS A WAR... so make love while at war. Do they ever say that? I'm getting sassy. It's only because I think LOVE should be much more prevalent in this twisted world. It's not just a bumper sticker you know, it's a sacred, monumental shift and a transformation in the human mind and spirit. It's a revolution and a revelation. It's not just a tweet. It's a CHANGE. Love is not as difficult as we make it out to be. Yet, it is. It's the most difficult thing to do, and for most everyone. Even me, as hard as that is to believe. (humor me if I know you.)

Why is it difficult to love? Because we don't know its definition. Or do we? 

Pat Benatar called love a battlefield. She says that we're strong, and no one can tell us we're wrong. But are we right? Is love a battle, or is that just another delusion triggered by our anger and resentment? 

At this point in my funk driven life, or what I've melodically referred to as a karma driven paradise, the only thing that I think honestly lasts forever is the new. Something else. Something more. I wrote a song about it. Or was that love I wrote about? Hmmm.

Om....Once again, this is why I meditate. I have the ability to make a solid point and then confuse  myself completely in .08 seconds. Maybe I should blame it on the crazy Gemini in me? Or do I blame it on the pure insanity that inspires me to do the same thing over and over again expecting different results? I'll do both.

Much like diamonds, the unfamiliar is forever and so is the unknown. They both have the stupefying power to wrap each and every single one of us around their fingers, if they had fingers. And they make us linger. They have to make us linger, or else we'd have nothing to live for - nothing to look forward to. We might even have to enjoy our life just as it is. Fully present. Ugh.

Om. 

We want what we can't have. Period. We might even have millions of dollars too, but we still want more! We ALL want MORE! And that aching sensation, that driving force will either drive us straight into the ground literally or spiritually, or it drives us directly into prayer where we pray for the strength to live in peace and to accept what is. Living in peace not only takes strength, it takes courage. And while we're down there in our black hole cultivating the courage to carry on, we might even pray for a sense of gratitude, a thankfulness that can balance all of our wants and needs, a gratefulness that can expel our wretched longing for what is no longer ours, or better yet, what never was ours to begin with.

Is that longing even real? Is it honest? Or is it a lie? Do we really want what we can't have? Do we really want that thing, ot that person that we can't have? Besides, if we can't have them then there's probably a pretty good reason for it. But what happens if we get it, that thing or that (potentially annoying) person? Then what? Does it last forever? Or, does it leave us yet again? Does it leave us wanting more, more of what we can't have?

Should I rephrase the questions?

To think on these things, as Jiddu Krishnamurti once worded, will forever be new to me. Why? 'Cause for me, and maybe even you, it's all the the old that all-too-often lasts 'till death do us part. Not the new, the old. The past. 

The familiar. It's not scary when you know what to expect. Even if you do love an asshole. Things are comfortable, even when you can't breath. It's f*****, but it's true. And that my friend, is the circle of this insane and beautiful thing called life.

And so they say, or was is Einstein? We do the same thing over and over and over again expecting different results. Or maybe we don't. Maybe we like the results just the way they are, all f***** up. Does that make us insane too? Maybe. Probably. But maybe not. Maybe insanity is merely the human condition, then there's God. Regardless, we're all immune to familiarity. Thus, we repeat shit like it's going out of style. We replay old songs. We think the same old thoughts. We carry on the same old conversations like we've never carried them before. We stick to our beliefs like crazy glue. And that's just the icing on the big huge cake, a cake made with a half cup of milk, two eggs and one thousand unresolved issues. We don't move in mysterious ways, that's for sure. Not in my opinion, no matter how clever we think we are. But we do move in ways that can guide us toward our full potential and our true purpose here in the world.

Everything has a profound meaning, no matter how big or small. There is an all-powerful and divine reason for everything, and that includes that staggering feeling of hopelessness.

Even when we're confused and shot to pieces, when we have absolutely no idea what's going on in our life and "Why God? Why?" is our mantra, the real mystery, the riddle of the century and the one-and-only bona fide mind-boggling chiller actually awaits its resolution within you. Within you, there is everything you need to know.

So there's really no reason to hide, 'cause we're obvious when we do, and we're easily detected by the wise man. They do exist. Much of the world has reduced itself in a very tired and relentless effort to deceive others. And that's no closed book, it's a naked truth and a united arbitrary nuisance. We've run out of whodunits. We've done it. And if love was the answer, we would have done things a lot differently...and the world would be a better place. It would be less insane, more compassionate.

So, like I said...only God moves in mysterious ways. But you can still try! There are plenty of masks to hide behind! But don't think you're truly fooling anybody. Where ever you go...there you are.

How 'bout instead of always trying to move in the most freaky-deaky mysterious ways, we strive to move in more harmonious ways. How 'bout them apples??

How 'bout moving into silence and stillness? How 'bout surrendering too? Or hell, how 'bout just being nice for a change? If you do so dare. Some might ask themselves, why now? why bother? Why why why why why?


Because we were born to be better...better than insane.


And if it's not love...it's probably insane. But like Seal says, we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy, or in this case, insane. So be insane! Then meditate, if you want.


And for God's sake...open your heart.


Life is short.


Friday, May 17, 2013

falling free



Me (and Madonna) Part 2


When I move a certain way
I feel an ache I’d kept at bay
A hairline break that’s taking hold
A metal that I thought was gold


Your days were meant to fly and do
                                                           I fall and fold mine into you
                                                       And what you take is just enough
And what you give is what I love

-Madonna



I really love this song by the one-and-only Madonna. It speaks to me. Truth's language always speaks to me the loudest.


So, I've been writing and writing away the short days, and I've really been enjoying myself too. I'm writing something a little different right now. So, if I forget to blog it's because I'm at either at a Starbucks or a Coffee Bean somewhere in LA writing my very first screenplay. 

I'll be the one sitting next to all the other people writing screenplays. 

Script writing is not just a learning experience for me, it's a voyage. Not only have I mentally and happily wondered off down a dirt road somewhere in Germany, but an imaginative world has evinced its self and taken hold of me like a fury - lifting me from the earth like a hurricane. Miracles manifest like magic while I get to travel back in time. I feel elated and excited to be broadening my horizons, making room for more sun "light". Though, I also feel a bit under pressure. Pressure is good though. Without it, there wouldn't be any diamonds. 

And diamonds are forever.

While writing this story, I've noticed myself living vicariously through the characters as though a familiarity and/or a longing has taken over me - a possible longing to make right. To correct something. A friend of mine recently said to me; "You're playing a Nazi again. I think there is some karma there."

Could I have possibly been a Nazi in a past life? How haunted I am by such a question.

I transpire through the characters while I ponder on my eternal history, a cloudy past life with meager sunshine. My mind has yet to be spotless. And thus, these character are my expressions. They are my outcry and my mania for rectitude. They are the truth and they are the lies. 

There's a spectral nature to the tone of this film - death and phantom are an influential force. Evil is the deadly force, and God is the driving force. It's a period piece that takes place in World War II. 

I'll be directing this picture as well as starring in it. I'm working with some incredible actors who have blessed me with their enthusiasm, their time and their talent. I'm thankful beyond words. Gratitude fills all those empty spaces inside of me. I'll be blogging all my directorial debut adventures as I go.

My mission and hope is that we progress together as a creative community and as a united world working together to make the world a better place...one film at a time. One song at a time. One day at a time. 

I look forward to sharing more with you.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

love's war



Music Video Written and directed by Anne-Marie Pauley.
 Featuring Anne-Marie's original song, 'Something Else'.
©2013. Undergo Music/Pauley Films. All Rights Reserved


This is a music video/trailer I wrote and directed recently. This piece features myself and my original song, "Something Else", the second single off my debut album entitled Forward, which released back in January of 2012. Please stay tune for the forthcoming, full length version.

---------------------------

One love is everyone's war. And though it seems a bit dramatic, it's very true. It's true, and yet it's daft. I say "daft" because war has been celebrated by a collective feeble mind for innumerous millenniums now. And that's unfortunate.

It takes wisdom and compassion to refrain from fighting. Thus, war is in constant bloodstained-vogue. It's the new "black". Pun intended. War is a black whole. It's dark. It's gruesome. And yet, hostility, fights and killing sprees are all very popular things to do...for some assholes. But it's all very unoriginal.

Victory, on the other hand, is so unique! Triumph is creative and effective! It's shrewd but sensitive. And though discreet and unassuming we are at times in our  reigning eras, our victory is still closely examined by its fearful on-lookers. It may even be a little unorthodox too; having strength and power. And I'm not referring to the kind of power we've coated in politics, blood-shed, and religious name tags. I'm also not talking about the kind of power that strokes our hardened and precious ego causing us to trip either. I'm referring to the kind of triumph that requires a massive and very personal transformation, an internal revolution so-to-speak, one that would require a heightened, and very keen sense of awareness, patience, and capacity to forgive


I'm talking about REAL POWER. 

Real Power needs NO WAR. 

Real Power just needs to be understood. 



REAL POWER is Love.

AND 

REAL POWER is Compassion. 



Though sadly, love and compassion are often a one way street, but it's the only road that takes us home. Where the heart is. No matter who we are or what they say, our grace and our compassion for one another are the only two keys that can unlock our spirit doors, and these are the doors that can open us up again, that can open our hearts again. We can open our minds to a whole new perspective and we can give our lives a whole new meaning. We can begin to define ourselves as ONE, giving rise to the spirit as we give praise to each other.

Only then, will The Battle of Suffering desist. Until then...One Love will forever be ONE WAR.


Peace,
AM


Thursday, February 21, 2013

the true you and the fairy tale

 "I want the fairy tale."


The True You is the greatest person you'll ever meet in your life!

The TRUE YOU is divine and creative, brilliant and fearless. The True You is free from the untrue you. Although, it can take many of us a lifetime, if not many lifetimes, before we ever begin to comprehend our true significance in this world; our value, our mission, our  purpose - our essence.
 
First we're born, then we have to grapple with the blight of growing old and tired with time, which is quickly flying by, and space, which there's never enough to ease the body and mind. So, our breath is short and shallow and our patience runs low as we squeeze ourselves in and out of trials and tribulations like sardines. We combat with karma's cause and all her brutal effects while we learn to live and love again here on Earth amidst all its war. And, we do this often.

We do this often because first we have to break down like an old truck before we meet our True Self. We have to have our heart-engine rebuilt by a mechanic named God. I hear he's the best. I hear good things about Buddha too, and Hashem, and/or whatever you prefer to call your heart's mechanic. Then eventually, and hopefully, we start to transform ourselves completely from within as we drive ourselves closer to this wondrous and spectacular version of our self, a selfless-self breathing the air only to serve a higher good. Walking the earth only to love.

First we're bamboozled! We're charmed by illusions and then trampled over by gut rentching fears and heart-ache. After that, we're conquered by the evil emporors of anger and  then kidnapped by an endless grief, but our trust in God and our hope will pay any ransome.

We go through hell first, before we find ourselves in heaven. And, I agree with Vivian (Julia Roberts) in Prettey Woman, I too want the fairy tale. I believe in the fairy tale. I believe there's a Heaven here on Earth.

So, say hello to the the TRUE YOU in your fairy tale...in your heaven. And, don't forget to smile...'cause you were born to be happy and beautiful.


Not just pretty.  


Sunday, January 27, 2013

the road ahead




When we move, we pack all our heavy boxes and we wrap all our fragile belongings in newspaper. We repaint the walls and we begin to detach from a place we once called our home. Detaching becomes so natural when we know we're moving somewhere new. We just withdraw, and we do it without giving it much thought too. We just detach. There simply are no more attachments. Well, there may be a few, but we handle them the way we handle them, then we call the U-haul and we move on out.

This is moving, in it's most typical sense. We've all done it. I've moved at least one hundred times. Relocating has actually become somewhat of a lifestyle for me. For some odd reason the tiresome traits that give moving such an unattractive appeal actually captivate me. I feel motivated by the inclination to pack up and go. It excites me. So yes, moving has become pretty typical for me because I personally need lots of excitement, but what's not typical, and what I wish I could see more of in myself and in others is the desire to break the barriers of "typical" and move on for a change. I can move all day long for the rest of my life and get nowhere. Our destiny completely relies on our ability and our willingness to move on. Without our destiny, we have no purpose and no road to travel.

Years ago, a girl friend said this to me... "Where ever you go, there you are." 

 She made this somewhat elusive statement immediately after I had expressed to her my possible desire and concern to move, to relocate and to actually leave Los Angeles. Though I didn't want to leave this city I love, I was having a hard time accepting where I was internally and I felt the need to flee. Los Angeles was reminding me of my unsettled pain and the people who helped induce it, and I was barely finding the strength to let it go, so I thought maybe a move would set me free, free from me. Though such solution for me was just another runaway tactic. A runaway train I was, going the wrong way on a one way track. I wasn't completely sure as to who I was then, so I lacked the confidence and the courage I needed to face myself and get a hold of myself. Thus, I was craving a quick move as a means of escaping myself, rather than moving within myself. And for me, running away never translated to "letting go", and therein hung my safety net.

Going within means finding out who you are. Running away means never knowing. Finding out who you are means knowing what you want. Running away means never knowing. Knowing what you want means letting go of what you don't want. Running away means never knowing. Letting go means everything changes, and it starts from within. Running away means everything stays the same. Nothing gets resolved. Hearts don't mend. Changing from within takes wisdom. Running away takes impulse. Wisdom takes a lot of long conversations with God. Long conversations with God takes time.

I needed time and I needed wisdom. It was my only hope if I was ever gonna truly move....on.

So, I moved. This time I moved closer to the truth. I moved inwardly and I finally found my home, though I have yet to fully unpack, even to this day. There are heavy, metaphorical moving boxes everywhere. The place is a mess. I brought a lot of stuff with me on this move within, and now I have to look at all of it, at all my crap. I've observed and even tried lifting these heavy metaphor moving vessels filled to the brim with agitated memories and unresolved relationships. I've got "boxes" filled with deep seeded pain and the fear of failing too. These are all the burdens I've packed up and carried with me from home to home and city to city, and for years and years. Thus, I have yet to unpack my sh**. I'm tempted to just throw it all out, all the garbage I carry inside of me. It's got to go. Why hold on to it? Why hold onto hurt feelings, disruptive thoughts, and old emotions that have followed me around like a puppy dog for the past 29 years? And, I've kept feeding the puppy. I've kept loving it too.

I moved within and I saw everything. I saw the dog. I saw my issues piled mile high. I also saw my beauty, and I could only see that from the inside. I felt like crying 'cause it hurt so much, and yet it felt so good.

A powerful relationship with myself is the most rewarding relationship. It's exciting and stimulating. I look forward to my progress each and every day, but it's also scary because every day is another new beginning and anything can happen, and it does, and it doesn't always feel good. It can hurt like hell actually. Life is not filled with rainbows and butterflies, nor is it fully occupied by people who chose love when the going gets tough. People hurt people. Plain and simple, and these are the moments when I'm tempted to quickly move OUT! I feel strongly inclined to repaint all my "walls" and move out of my home within, where I'm at peace. And, amid my relocation from my spirit into a very wounding circumstance, I bring with me all my heavy burden "boxes". It's in these breaking moments when kindness is at an all time low that I move out of my heart and into my head where I can think myself into an angry defense and a safe refuge, and I do it as quickly as possible by means of escaping any and all potential and unwanted hurt. Thus, another heavy burden box has just been packed and I'm ready to run. But, that's not the answer.

Running away is not the solution. Getting angry isn't either, but it's just so easy to get mad or depressed when everything gets hard, when people get mean. It's a piece of cake actually, to do and say anything we want and then runaway, even if it hurts someone else. It's child's play and it completely lacks responsibility, for such integrity would be an inconvenience to our needs and safety. But, we lose in the end. We lose our way back home...where the heart is. So we live outside where the weather is cold.

It's so important that we maintain our home within when we finally do move in....ward.

Like they say...home is where the heart is, and our heart beats inside of us. The journey to the heart is a long and even very lonely road at times, but it's the road ahead...and it's the way home.


Everything else is just a stop along the way.



Peace & Love.
Anne-Marie