The Tree Of Life
Today I feel like myself again, thank goodness. Yesterday on the other hand, I was defying myself. I spent my lazy Saturday defensively, though proactively brushing off the tail-end of a week long cold. I thought writing would be the perfect medication...So, I wrote.
My lazy and antidotal Saturday...
I haven't been sick in so long! I hardly know what to do with myself. I've officially been abducted by my snot covered robe, three boxes of Kleenex, hot tea, Chelsea Lately, and my yoga teacher study journal. It's been a shift in pace for me that's for sure, or more like an eternal interlude consumed by pacifistic moments. I strive to make the best of my challenging circumstances. And, though I've been sneezing away the days, I've allied my healthy vigor's squander with something more remedial than cold medicine and Vitamin C. I've meditated. I've also taken some time to appreciate the joy that lies in simply feeling good. I've missed my long afternoon runs. It's true...you don't know what you've got 'till it's gone, and that includes all losses. Though, on a more profound note I do believe this: Once you've lost it all, you've got nothing left to lose anymore. Everything that's left is all that you need. My motto, and though a very tough motto it is to live by, I still think it's a very good one. We can actually proceed onward with what we have, with nothing more, with nothing less. Hopefully that will always include our health. Our health is a HUGE benefactor in regards to moving onward. What a gift indeed! And, one of many! Everyday is a gift, so they say. I believe that to be true. Though, there are days I beg to differ. I think there are days we all beg to differ. I'm sure there are many of us whom, if we could, would promptly and happily return our life as though purchased at Target or Bloomingdales.
And, we would say:
"Hi, I'd like to return this. It doesn't work for me"..."It doesn't fit. It's too small, I want something bigger."..."It's too big, I want something smaller."..."It's just too hard, I'd like something easier."..."It's too exhausting."..."It's broken."..."Can I exchange it for something else... possibly another life?"
"No", says the customer service person slumped over the counter with a frown stretched downward for miles, a customer service person who just may feel the same way we do. A customer service person who's been given a divine purpose in life too. Just like you. Just like me. "Divine Purpose"... now there's a topic with no real closure, and I advocate it proudly! Why else are we here?
So, this is the only life we get...at least it is in this life time. And, tears may very well percolate as you interpose such a demur, such an unsettling truth: This is my life? And yet, our existence is still divine no matter how much we dispute it. Whether we work at Target or "rule the world", we're each gifted in our own way and we each have a special destination awaiting our arrival. Realized or unrealized, this life is our journey toward purpose. We're heavenly beings, but often times we have to go straight through hell to realize it, and then we have to do it again...and again, and again. I think that too is just part of this journey toward purpose. Hopefully we come out of hell once and for all, never to return with a mesmerizing and restored sense of self and strength, because that's what we're going to need in order to fulfill our destiny, and it's going to take this life to do that. This life is all we've got, and love and forgiveness is all we'll ever need to survive it. The rest of the details just kind of work themselves out on their own, if we're not too busy worrying about it. To me, this is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I came across a Gloria Steinem quote the other day. I loved it. Gloria says...
"The truth will set you free, but first it'll piss you off."
And it does. I say just remember who you are, or a least remember you have a special purpose here, no matter who you are or where you are. Because, where we go from here we don't know, and if you do know that's fantastic, but I don't see how that's possible. As for now...no returns. No exchanges. No refunds. This is your life. Make the best of it. Or, make the best for someone else's life. That's always a beautiful thing.
So, with our "life receipt" in one hand and a long mental list of disappointments in the other, a list we all too often refer to as though sadly reminding ourselves of each and every failure, we head back home. Home being the key word. We head back home with our non-refundable gift, our life...the one gift we have yet to unwrap completely. And yet, there are still so many more blessings to come, so many gifts within ourselves we have yet to discover. Each to be beautifully wrapped and nestled under the "Christmas tree" - the Christmas Tree of Life. It doesn't take December 25th to realize this, it just takes patience. Patience is virtue, and so is consciousness.
"You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness." -Albert Einstein
And, though April has now commenced itself and summer's juncture is impending, everyday is still Christmas, if we want it to be. And, hopefully our health is always under the tree. That's the gift that keeps on giving. Without our health, what do we have? It's truly everything - mentally, emotionally and physically. These three active elements together create a spiritual symbiosis, a combined effort - one needs the other in order to succeed. And, I believe uniting our body with our mind and spirit is the most constructive and worthwhile thing we can do for ourselves. This is the most sacred gift to our self.
The gift to be.
To hug someone.
To go for a walk.
To write your story.
To write your song.
To take a picture.
To paint a picture.
To go somewhere.
To help someone.
These are the gifts you will only find under the Tree of Life.
And when we discover these gifts in our self, our inner light illuminates and our world turns bright like snow fall in the night, and the angels carve their place in the earth. Snow angels in the summer time, and everyday is Christmas. We become one. Life starts here. This is the spirit's dream. This is dream that's meant to come true. This is the gift.
Affirmation: Just breath. Let go. Go within. Dance to the silence. And, with a slow count on a rooted inhale and a deep relaxation in an absolving exhale, allow the sweet taste of nuance to employ the splendor within you. Discover your gifts and fulfill your special purpose one day at a time. Tranquility purifies the air and restfulness serves you.
Love honors you. God blesses you. You are the Tree of Life.
Love & Light.